Hi COW!

I spent an half an hour staring at a cow today. I just stared into her eyes (the udders are a dead giveaway). I was searching for something. I wanted to find some kind of intelligence. What I found, however, was a profound stupidity.

The entire time I thought about all my interactions with cows, and what I know about cows from, well, mostly menus. I realized there is a symbiotic relationship between cows and humans. All across the world people have cultivated cows to be slow, stupid, and worth watching after.

Here in India the cows provide milk and even their dung is used (after being dried) as a source of fuel for light, heat, and cooking. Back home we use them for milk, food, and some rather crazy individuals get up on the back of the meanest bulls and try to hang on for dear life.

In return for all they provide for us, we make sure that we are their number 1 natural predator. We protect them from things that we have made them too stupid or slow to protect themselves from.

I thought about all this while staring at a cow for half an hour. These thoughts only took about 3 minutes. The rest of the time I stared at the cow I was worrying if I was going insane.

I decided that worrying about going insane was a good sign you weren’t, that is to say that as long as I don’t think of staring at a cow for too long as a perfectly normal thing, I may still be alright.