Through no fault of my own, the internet is working at the hospital. That is to say that all the work and effort I put towards getting an internet connection at the hospital has finally not paid off, and now there is internet. That is not a contradiction. The local cell tower was finally repaired, and now it works.
I am counting this as a holistic win for me.
Only 4 days to go here at the hospital, and things are heating up. After months of work, projects are finally moving forward. My work is paying off. I just needed to be patient. Now the problem will be seeing how things operate when I am not here. Ugh I hope to God that everything that I have done keeps working in my absence.
I am really looking forward to going to Nepal.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Time, Time, Time
So, it looks as though after 2 months of banging my head against the wall, the internet is finally working! The best part of it all is it was not due to any of my nearly constant efforts. Sure calling up and complaining to Airtel may have made them fix the tower faster, but all of the solutions I tried failed. I will still count this as a win in the grand scheme of things.
I am leaving in 6 days. That means that after 2 months of working on something that would have made my job exponentially easier, not to mention that a lot of what I was sent here to do involved working with the internet, and training the staff here how to communicate properly through the internet, I now have 6 days to do the work that I was sent with 2 months to do. 6 days does not equal 2 months. It doesn’t even equal one month. I have checked the math numerous times, and no matter how I try to make the numbers jump, it doesn’t change the fact that I do not have enough time to do everything I should do.
So instead I am prioritizing. I am picking the things that I can actually accomplish in my limited time. They are not the most important things I can do, because time will not allow me that. So I am instead choosing to do the possible.
Time. Ally or Enemy? I think both. It s crunch time, and I want results. I want measurable and quantifiable results. So I am using the little time I have to the best I can. I can whine about how much time I wasted here unable to really do anything that I had set out to do, or I can make the most of what I do have.
So, now that I have bored you with details of the work I am doing, I will leave you bored.
I am leaving in 6 days. That means that after 2 months of working on something that would have made my job exponentially easier, not to mention that a lot of what I was sent here to do involved working with the internet, and training the staff here how to communicate properly through the internet, I now have 6 days to do the work that I was sent with 2 months to do. 6 days does not equal 2 months. It doesn’t even equal one month. I have checked the math numerous times, and no matter how I try to make the numbers jump, it doesn’t change the fact that I do not have enough time to do everything I should do.
So instead I am prioritizing. I am picking the things that I can actually accomplish in my limited time. They are not the most important things I can do, because time will not allow me that. So I am instead choosing to do the possible.
Time. Ally or Enemy? I think both. It s crunch time, and I want results. I want measurable and quantifiable results. So I am using the little time I have to the best I can. I can whine about how much time I wasted here unable to really do anything that I had set out to do, or I can make the most of what I do have.
So, now that I have bored you with details of the work I am doing, I will leave you bored.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
(Insert Title Here)
Some people have asked me to describe a typical day here at the hospital. So here goes.
8:00 AM – Wake up, Exercise
8:30 AM – Toilet, Shower, Shave
9:00 AM – Breakfast
9:30 AM – Go to the office and do whatever work must be done for the day
11:30 AM – Break from work because it has become too hot
1:00 PM – Lunch
1:30 PM – Return to room and work or relax if it is too hot
3:30 PM – Return to office and hope someone is there to do some work
5:00 PM – Play some Frisbee or cricket
6:30 PM – Rinse off after Frisbee
7:00 PM – Make some phone calls/write my Blog/Play cards/Watch a movie
10:00 PM – Dinner
10:30 PM – Write my Blog/Watch a movie/Read a book
12:00 AM – Sleep
This is a typical day at the hospital. There is a little variation from this routine, but not much. I enjoy having a strict routine like this (for a while) because it adds an element of predictability to an otherwise unpredictable environment.
Here what you are able to do changes all the time. The electricity goes out, there is no water, or it is too hot to breathe are all common everyday challenges that you must meet. Not having electricity is not a problem for the most part because there is very little to do that requires electricity. If the water thanks are empty it is time to grab a bucket, and have a bucket shower by the well. When it is too hot to breathe, you just find a shady spot, grab a bottle of water, and think cool thoughts.
All the challenges that I faced my first time coming here are now just everyday occurrences. That doesn’t mean that I am running out of challenges. Overcoming these has just allowed me to tackle more difficult challenges, and to try to push further and harder. I like challenges. I like to be tested and prove myself worthy. It is a great feeling.
One thing India has taught me is to redefine success. Most of my efforts over here have met with failure (by my standards). And it is difficult to cope with what I view as near constant failure. I have had to define new success parameters, I have had to change the way I work and think, and I have had to learn to live with half-successes. I have learned to remove myself from what I am doing, and constantly reassess and re-evaluate. I am learning how to better adapt to conditions beyond my control. I am, essentially, getting better as I go along.
God I love a challenge.
8:00 AM – Wake up, Exercise
8:30 AM – Toilet, Shower, Shave
9:00 AM – Breakfast
9:30 AM – Go to the office and do whatever work must be done for the day
11:30 AM – Break from work because it has become too hot
1:00 PM – Lunch
1:30 PM – Return to room and work or relax if it is too hot
3:30 PM – Return to office and hope someone is there to do some work
5:00 PM – Play some Frisbee or cricket
6:30 PM – Rinse off after Frisbee
7:00 PM – Make some phone calls/write my Blog/Play cards/Watch a movie
10:00 PM – Dinner
10:30 PM – Write my Blog/Watch a movie/Read a book
12:00 AM – Sleep
This is a typical day at the hospital. There is a little variation from this routine, but not much. I enjoy having a strict routine like this (for a while) because it adds an element of predictability to an otherwise unpredictable environment.
Here what you are able to do changes all the time. The electricity goes out, there is no water, or it is too hot to breathe are all common everyday challenges that you must meet. Not having electricity is not a problem for the most part because there is very little to do that requires electricity. If the water thanks are empty it is time to grab a bucket, and have a bucket shower by the well. When it is too hot to breathe, you just find a shady spot, grab a bottle of water, and think cool thoughts.
All the challenges that I faced my first time coming here are now just everyday occurrences. That doesn’t mean that I am running out of challenges. Overcoming these has just allowed me to tackle more difficult challenges, and to try to push further and harder. I like challenges. I like to be tested and prove myself worthy. It is a great feeling.
One thing India has taught me is to redefine success. Most of my efforts over here have met with failure (by my standards). And it is difficult to cope with what I view as near constant failure. I have had to define new success parameters, I have had to change the way I work and think, and I have had to learn to live with half-successes. I have learned to remove myself from what I am doing, and constantly reassess and re-evaluate. I am learning how to better adapt to conditions beyond my control. I am, essentially, getting better as I go along.
God I love a challenge.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wind Down
The heat has stopped getting to me. I wonder if that is a bad sign? I believe it is. I don't sweat as much. I still take the same amount of water, but I stopped sweating as much. Granted my trips to the bathroom have increased, so I know where the water is going at least.
Funny that after all this time, with barely 2 weeks left to go here, I am getting adjusted to the climate. Well as they say here Kauno Koribo? Or "What are you going to do?" In Nepal it is just Ke Garne. Either one works.
So much work to do and so little time to do it. I am confident that I will finish everything I need to in short order. I am now in crunch time, and like always that is when things really happen. Granted it is because now I am not accepting tomorrow as an appropriate time to do something.
I love the rush of work just before leaving here. It happens every time. This time there is going to be a party before I leave. Not for me, but for the school. They call it the Annual Function, and there will be food, dancing, music, and a drama! Well I will take pictures of it for everyone to see.
Funny that after all this time, with barely 2 weeks left to go here, I am getting adjusted to the climate. Well as they say here Kauno Koribo? Or "What are you going to do?" In Nepal it is just Ke Garne. Either one works.
So much work to do and so little time to do it. I am confident that I will finish everything I need to in short order. I am now in crunch time, and like always that is when things really happen. Granted it is because now I am not accepting tomorrow as an appropriate time to do something.
I love the rush of work just before leaving here. It happens every time. This time there is going to be a party before I leave. Not for me, but for the school. They call it the Annual Function, and there will be food, dancing, music, and a drama! Well I will take pictures of it for everyone to see.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Game On
Games.
I love to play. I am a very big kid at heart. Here in India I play games all the time. Card games, Frisbee, sometimes I even play a game of riddles with Biku (very difficult to translate riddles by the way.) Games are important to me.
I have learned a few new card games while I have been here in India. Most of them are a variation of Bridge or Spades. Because I have a solid background in Spades it was very easy to pick up most of the games they taught me. Even though I kept telling them that I have never played Margo before, they didn't believe me. The weird thing about card games here, they deal backwards. Um... that is to say that they deal starting with the person on the right instead of the left. It threw me for a while, but sadly I am getting used to it. That means I am going to have to get re-used to the way we deal in the US.
I have even been teaching the people here some of the games I learned from Baden Powell. Games of quickness of hands, balance, strength, and quick thinking. I am still winning all the time, but it is only because I have had a lot of practice. Or maybe it is because I am only teaching them games that I know I am good at. Or maybe I am just good at games.
I do not like to cheat. Not because of some high morals. I do not like to cheat because I like to beat the game within its own system. I find it a much more rewarding experience if I play by the rules and still win. I personally feel that cheating lessens my victory. Now that isn't to say I won't cheat, but I never cheat to win, I only cheat when it will make the actual game more fun.
Video games are a perfect example. If I have beaten a game numerous times, and I want to change the rules of the game by cheating, I will. In Munchkin, cheating is PART of the game, so I cheat. If a game is designed so that the only way to win is to cheat, I will cheat. I only cheat if it makes the game more fun for everyone involved.
I suppose I never saw "the win" as the most important part of a game. I always thought that just playing the game was where the pleasure was derived. Don't get me wrong, I am very competitive, and I play to win. But I want to win the right way.
I love to play. I am a very big kid at heart. Here in India I play games all the time. Card games, Frisbee, sometimes I even play a game of riddles with Biku (very difficult to translate riddles by the way.) Games are important to me.
I have learned a few new card games while I have been here in India. Most of them are a variation of Bridge or Spades. Because I have a solid background in Spades it was very easy to pick up most of the games they taught me. Even though I kept telling them that I have never played Margo before, they didn't believe me. The weird thing about card games here, they deal backwards. Um... that is to say that they deal starting with the person on the right instead of the left. It threw me for a while, but sadly I am getting used to it. That means I am going to have to get re-used to the way we deal in the US.
I have even been teaching the people here some of the games I learned from Baden Powell. Games of quickness of hands, balance, strength, and quick thinking. I am still winning all the time, but it is only because I have had a lot of practice. Or maybe it is because I am only teaching them games that I know I am good at. Or maybe I am just good at games.
I do not like to cheat. Not because of some high morals. I do not like to cheat because I like to beat the game within its own system. I find it a much more rewarding experience if I play by the rules and still win. I personally feel that cheating lessens my victory. Now that isn't to say I won't cheat, but I never cheat to win, I only cheat when it will make the actual game more fun.
Video games are a perfect example. If I have beaten a game numerous times, and I want to change the rules of the game by cheating, I will. In Munchkin, cheating is PART of the game, so I cheat. If a game is designed so that the only way to win is to cheat, I will cheat. I only cheat if it makes the game more fun for everyone involved.
I suppose I never saw "the win" as the most important part of a game. I always thought that just playing the game was where the pleasure was derived. Don't get me wrong, I am very competitive, and I play to win. But I want to win the right way.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Hi COW!
I spent an half an hour staring at a cow today. I just stared into her eyes (the udders are a dead giveaway). I was searching for something. I wanted to find some kind of intelligence. What I found, however, was a profound stupidity.
The entire time I thought about all my interactions with cows, and what I know about cows from, well, mostly menus. I realized there is a symbiotic relationship between cows and humans. All across the world people have cultivated cows to be slow, stupid, and worth watching after.
Here in India the cows provide milk and even their dung is used (after being dried) as a source of fuel for light, heat, and cooking. Back home we use them for milk, food, and some rather crazy individuals get up on the back of the meanest bulls and try to hang on for dear life.
In return for all they provide for us, we make sure that we are their number 1 natural predator. We protect them from things that we have made them too stupid or slow to protect themselves from.
I thought about all this while staring at a cow for half an hour. These thoughts only took about 3 minutes. The rest of the time I stared at the cow I was worrying if I was going insane.
I decided that worrying about going insane was a good sign you weren’t, that is to say that as long as I don’t think of staring at a cow for too long as a perfectly normal thing, I may still be alright.
The entire time I thought about all my interactions with cows, and what I know about cows from, well, mostly menus. I realized there is a symbiotic relationship between cows and humans. All across the world people have cultivated cows to be slow, stupid, and worth watching after.
Here in India the cows provide milk and even their dung is used (after being dried) as a source of fuel for light, heat, and cooking. Back home we use them for milk, food, and some rather crazy individuals get up on the back of the meanest bulls and try to hang on for dear life.
In return for all they provide for us, we make sure that we are their number 1 natural predator. We protect them from things that we have made them too stupid or slow to protect themselves from.
I thought about all this while staring at a cow for half an hour. These thoughts only took about 3 minutes. The rest of the time I stared at the cow I was worrying if I was going insane.
I decided that worrying about going insane was a good sign you weren’t, that is to say that as long as I don’t think of staring at a cow for too long as a perfectly normal thing, I may still be alright.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Perception
The way you perceive things, the way your brain filters information through your own situation and experience, is important. It is something that we each cultivate. It is also something that can change.
An example I have always found easy to work with is that of driver and pedestrian. For most people there is an immediate perspective shift when they enter or exit a car. If you are crossing the street and a car almost hits you it is easy to think that obviously the driver needs to be more careful of pedestrians. Now you are the one driving the car and a pedestrian walks out into the street and you almost hit him you can easily find yourself thinking, that pedestrian needs to be more careful when crossing the street.
Our thoughts are not independent of our environment. Everything can have an effect on our thoughts. The odd thing is when you begin to become aware of the effect of external forces on your thoughts, it does not stop it from happening. I still change my opinion of the pedestrians right of way every time I enter a vehicle.
For some reason, most stories about enlightenment involve a journey of some type to a foreign land where the hero encounters things that challenge the way he views the world. Many time cultures that live in mountains will have the hero travel to the sea, and cultures that live in the lowlands will have the hero climb a mountain. This is because it is easier to change the way you think when you change the environment you are thinking in.
I find my trips to India so invigorating and interesting because they are an immersion in a totally different environment. It helps me to examine my own thoughts and reasoning. It is a vacation from “American Will.” Granted he comes with me to India, but he keeps quiet, he listens more, and he tries to learn something.
An example I have always found easy to work with is that of driver and pedestrian. For most people there is an immediate perspective shift when they enter or exit a car. If you are crossing the street and a car almost hits you it is easy to think that obviously the driver needs to be more careful of pedestrians. Now you are the one driving the car and a pedestrian walks out into the street and you almost hit him you can easily find yourself thinking, that pedestrian needs to be more careful when crossing the street.
Our thoughts are not independent of our environment. Everything can have an effect on our thoughts. The odd thing is when you begin to become aware of the effect of external forces on your thoughts, it does not stop it from happening. I still change my opinion of the pedestrians right of way every time I enter a vehicle.
For some reason, most stories about enlightenment involve a journey of some type to a foreign land where the hero encounters things that challenge the way he views the world. Many time cultures that live in mountains will have the hero travel to the sea, and cultures that live in the lowlands will have the hero climb a mountain. This is because it is easier to change the way you think when you change the environment you are thinking in.
I find my trips to India so invigorating and interesting because they are an immersion in a totally different environment. It helps me to examine my own thoughts and reasoning. It is a vacation from “American Will.” Granted he comes with me to India, but he keeps quiet, he listens more, and he tries to learn something.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Election day!
I am living in a ghost village right now. There are no patients at the Hospital, there are no people walking on the roads, the shops are closed. It is Election Day!
On any given day here in Orissa I have about 5 hours where I am alone in my room. These hours are usually right after I wake up, after lunch when it is too hot to do anything else, and after dinner before I go to bed. Sometimes I spend these hours outside talking with people, sometimes I just sit on the porch and enjoy a breeze, sometimes I read a book. All in all, I have a lot of free time here.
Today, I had the entire day to myself. I spent the entire day reading, writing, and thinking. These 3 things are possibly my favorite things to do when I have free time. They are like doing exercises for the brain.
Except the reading I did today. That is more like cotton candy for the brain. I read 2 books by Terry Pratchett Thud! and Making Money. They are both fantasy/satire books based in his insane Discworld. If ever you need to laugh at the world we live in, I strongly suggest picking up any of Mr. Pratchett’s works. They are all excellent.
I write everyday. That is to say, since coming to India I have been writing every day. It is not something I did everyday back home. I sort of used this trip as an excuse to exercise my writing muscle. And for that alone this trip has been worth it many times over. I now find it easier to translate my thoughts to paper… uhh… screen. Many people have commented that they enjoy my writing, and I would like to thank them all. And to those of you that do not enjoy my writing, and yet keep reading my blog, seek help.
I am a few thousand miles from home. Currently my thought processes are running parallel ways of thinking. There is the New Jersey way, and the India way. Everything I perceive, experience, or think about is run through 2 separate filters. This can sometimes lead to some very severe discrepancies in thought. There is something interesting about having one mental foot in New Jersey, and the other in India. It provides a wonderful perspective shift. It gives me the opportunity to think about my home with a new outlook.
On any given day here in Orissa I have about 5 hours where I am alone in my room. These hours are usually right after I wake up, after lunch when it is too hot to do anything else, and after dinner before I go to bed. Sometimes I spend these hours outside talking with people, sometimes I just sit on the porch and enjoy a breeze, sometimes I read a book. All in all, I have a lot of free time here.
Today, I had the entire day to myself. I spent the entire day reading, writing, and thinking. These 3 things are possibly my favorite things to do when I have free time. They are like doing exercises for the brain.
Except the reading I did today. That is more like cotton candy for the brain. I read 2 books by Terry Pratchett Thud! and Making Money. They are both fantasy/satire books based in his insane Discworld. If ever you need to laugh at the world we live in, I strongly suggest picking up any of Mr. Pratchett’s works. They are all excellent.
I write everyday. That is to say, since coming to India I have been writing every day. It is not something I did everyday back home. I sort of used this trip as an excuse to exercise my writing muscle. And for that alone this trip has been worth it many times over. I now find it easier to translate my thoughts to paper… uhh… screen. Many people have commented that they enjoy my writing, and I would like to thank them all. And to those of you that do not enjoy my writing, and yet keep reading my blog, seek help.
I am a few thousand miles from home. Currently my thought processes are running parallel ways of thinking. There is the New Jersey way, and the India way. Everything I perceive, experience, or think about is run through 2 separate filters. This can sometimes lead to some very severe discrepancies in thought. There is something interesting about having one mental foot in New Jersey, and the other in India. It provides a wonderful perspective shift. It gives me the opportunity to think about my home with a new outlook.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Hammer, Meet Nail
Today I head back to Juanga. It always sad leaving this place. This place having internet access, different food for each meal, and air conditioning. But I manage to do it every time. And every time I go back to he hospital I return to my lifestyle there.
I find that I adapt to situations, circumstances, and people easily. I don't know why. I just find it easy to get along. Not just with people. I find it easy to get along with anything.
It's my biggest weakness as a person I think. That isn't to say that I don't think it is an asset, but it is also a weakness. For a long time I had a hard time saying no, or admitting I couldn't do something. It was devastating to me to let anyone down (Except my family.) I needed to be able to do anything and everything that needed to be done. It made me a real prick sometimes. Very arrogant and always so sure of myself.
Over the years I have had many helpings of humble pie because of my attitude. And I really believe I am better for it.
But, I have retained my ability to just be what is needed. I like being useful, I derive pleasure from working hard, and I enjoy making people smile and laugh. I am not the best at anything really, but I am always trying, and I at least succeed as much as I fail.
I find that I adapt to situations, circumstances, and people easily. I don't know why. I just find it easy to get along. Not just with people. I find it easy to get along with anything.
It's my biggest weakness as a person I think. That isn't to say that I don't think it is an asset, but it is also a weakness. For a long time I had a hard time saying no, or admitting I couldn't do something. It was devastating to me to let anyone down (Except my family.) I needed to be able to do anything and everything that needed to be done. It made me a real prick sometimes. Very arrogant and always so sure of myself.
Over the years I have had many helpings of humble pie because of my attitude. And I really believe I am better for it.
But, I have retained my ability to just be what is needed. I like being useful, I derive pleasure from working hard, and I enjoy making people smile and laugh. I am not the best at anything really, but I am always trying, and I at least succeed as much as I fail.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Gotta Run
I froze my butt of last night, and I loved it. With people here in Orissa it is feast of famine. So I found out that the Air Conditioner was set to 16 degrees celsius. This made for a cold, cold night.
I spent most of the day writing reports to be sent to Citta. I also bought my plane tickets to Nepal! So I am leaving Orissa on May 5th.
Too much work to do!
I spent most of the day writing reports to be sent to Citta. I also bought my plane tickets to Nepal! So I am leaving Orissa on May 5th.
Too much work to do!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Complaining
Came to Puri today, and I did something completely crazy. I found a hotel room with Air Conditioning.
It is splendid. I spent about an hour just sitting in the cold. Thats all I did. I didn't do anything but be cold. I am looking forward to a goodnight sleep tonight. I am sitting in my friends Surrot's internet cafe while I type this, and it is night time. I have so much work to do before I can leave Puri on Wednesday, that I don't know if I will be able to finish it all. Also, for the past few days I haven't been sleeping well. The power has been out during the night, and my room doesn't get a breeze. When the fan is off in my room the air becomes thick and heavy and it is difficult to get comfortable. So I have been a little sleep deprived.
I am stressed, tired, and soon to be cold again. You have no idea how happy this makes me! I love to be pushed and prodded like this. It excites me. It gives me something to do, and something to complain about. If there is one thing I love to do it is complain.
Odd thing about complaining. I only complain when whatever I have complaints about is nothing. I never complain about the stuff that really bothers me. I use complaining as a kind of humor, or defence mechanism. You can be assured, that if I complain about something, chances are it doesn't really matter to me, but if I am stoicly silent on a matter... That's when you know I care.
It is splendid. I spent about an hour just sitting in the cold. Thats all I did. I didn't do anything but be cold. I am looking forward to a goodnight sleep tonight. I am sitting in my friends Surrot's internet cafe while I type this, and it is night time. I have so much work to do before I can leave Puri on Wednesday, that I don't know if I will be able to finish it all. Also, for the past few days I haven't been sleeping well. The power has been out during the night, and my room doesn't get a breeze. When the fan is off in my room the air becomes thick and heavy and it is difficult to get comfortable. So I have been a little sleep deprived.
I am stressed, tired, and soon to be cold again. You have no idea how happy this makes me! I love to be pushed and prodded like this. It excites me. It gives me something to do, and something to complain about. If there is one thing I love to do it is complain.
Odd thing about complaining. I only complain when whatever I have complaints about is nothing. I never complain about the stuff that really bothers me. I use complaining as a kind of humor, or defence mechanism. You can be assured, that if I complain about something, chances are it doesn't really matter to me, but if I am stoicly silent on a matter... That's when you know I care.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Writers Block... Kinda
I have writers block. So I am going to write about it. Hopefully it will be embarrased by me talking about it, and it will shuffly away in a huff due to my rude behavior.
So what the hell is writers block? I will tell you what I am going through right now. I am sitting in my room, and I cannot concentrate on anything. Nothing is holding my interest, and I just don't feel like I have anything interesting to say. That is my current condition. So I am writing it out. Hoping that writing will act like a rolling start on an old car. If I just start typing, maybe I can get the ole' brain working again.
So far it is working, but unfortunately all I can think about now is not being able to write, and what effect that has on me. I thought I was just overloaded, that I had reached a saturation point in India. And to a degree I have. India has seeped into me slowly, and I find myself now pushing back against it. When I was first here in 2006 I kind of let India in. I was bright eyed and bushy tailed so to speak. Everything I saw was new and exciting. Everything I experinced I tried to let that experience sink deep into my soul and change and alter me in some way.
Now, after having travelled through India and Nepal a bit, I am developing callouses, or a filter. Now, India is becoming familiar. It is loosing the "mystery" that it once held for me. I find that I am slowly becoming disillusioned with this place. And I think that is what is happening with this writers block.
At home, I find it difficult to write in a blog or journal, because my experiences are so completely ordinary to me, that I do not find them extraordinary or interesting enough to document. And India is becoming more like home to me.
So what the hell is writers block? I will tell you what I am going through right now. I am sitting in my room, and I cannot concentrate on anything. Nothing is holding my interest, and I just don't feel like I have anything interesting to say. That is my current condition. So I am writing it out. Hoping that writing will act like a rolling start on an old car. If I just start typing, maybe I can get the ole' brain working again.
So far it is working, but unfortunately all I can think about now is not being able to write, and what effect that has on me. I thought I was just overloaded, that I had reached a saturation point in India. And to a degree I have. India has seeped into me slowly, and I find myself now pushing back against it. When I was first here in 2006 I kind of let India in. I was bright eyed and bushy tailed so to speak. Everything I saw was new and exciting. Everything I experinced I tried to let that experience sink deep into my soul and change and alter me in some way.
Now, after having travelled through India and Nepal a bit, I am developing callouses, or a filter. Now, India is becoming familiar. It is loosing the "mystery" that it once held for me. I find that I am slowly becoming disillusioned with this place. And I think that is what is happening with this writers block.
At home, I find it difficult to write in a blog or journal, because my experiences are so completely ordinary to me, that I do not find them extraordinary or interesting enough to document. And India is becoming more like home to me.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Bored
I set fire to 37,000 bricks yesterday. So that was cool...
As a rule, I am not a fan of boredom. I suffer from type 2 boredom, which is the boredom that comes from doing something you don't want to do. I almost never suffer from type 1 boredom which is being bored because you have nothing to do. Here, even though I actually have very little to do, I am never bored. My theory on the whole thing?
You always have something to do.
Currently I occupy any time when there is absolutely nothing to do with anagrams. I love them.
I suppose that what I am saying is that boredom is the creation of an uncreative mind. One need never be bored as long as one can think.
As a rule, I am not a fan of boredom. I suffer from type 2 boredom, which is the boredom that comes from doing something you don't want to do. I almost never suffer from type 1 boredom which is being bored because you have nothing to do. Here, even though I actually have very little to do, I am never bored. My theory on the whole thing?
You always have something to do.
Currently I occupy any time when there is absolutely nothing to do with anagrams. I love them.
I suppose that what I am saying is that boredom is the creation of an uncreative mind. One need never be bored as long as one can think.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Bad Day
I had a bad day. The hospital has been without internet access the entire time I have been here. The hospital gets internet access via GPRS enabled cell phone that is tethered to the computer here. Well for about a month and a half now the local cell tower that provides the access has been broken, with no hope of repairs any time in the future. I have spent the past month calling up Airtel customer service and complaining, hoping enough complaints would get it working. Well it hasn’t.
So last week I decided to find alternative service providers. I did my research and found that there were at least 3 different service providers that had cell towers in range of the hospital and offered wireless internet solutions. So today I went to Bhubhaneswar with Govinda to see what we could find out about hiring out these services.
3 strikes and I am out. Each one of the services centers told me that what I wanted wasn’t possible. After I showed them on their own website that it was possible, they told me it wasn’t available in Orissa. After I showed them that their website said it was available in Orissa, they told me it wasn’t available in Bhubhaneswar at this particular address. After I showed them that their website pointed me to their particular address and told me it was available, they told me they didn’t have any in stock.
At the end of the day I had a headache and was extremely frustrated. But its always like that here. Everything you need to do is exponentially complicated by the amount of interaction with other people. If you need to do something by yourself it is completely manageable and possible. Once you need to get 4 or 5 people involved, you have just made your task nearly impossible.
But I am better now. I took some time to sit and think and reflect. I gathered myself, played some Frisbee, did some exercise, and now I am ready to ram my head into the brick wall again tomorrow.
So last week I decided to find alternative service providers. I did my research and found that there were at least 3 different service providers that had cell towers in range of the hospital and offered wireless internet solutions. So today I went to Bhubhaneswar with Govinda to see what we could find out about hiring out these services.
3 strikes and I am out. Each one of the services centers told me that what I wanted wasn’t possible. After I showed them on their own website that it was possible, they told me it wasn’t available in Orissa. After I showed them that their website said it was available in Orissa, they told me it wasn’t available in Bhubhaneswar at this particular address. After I showed them that their website pointed me to their particular address and told me it was available, they told me they didn’t have any in stock.
At the end of the day I had a headache and was extremely frustrated. But its always like that here. Everything you need to do is exponentially complicated by the amount of interaction with other people. If you need to do something by yourself it is completely manageable and possible. Once you need to get 4 or 5 people involved, you have just made your task nearly impossible.
But I am better now. I took some time to sit and think and reflect. I gathered myself, played some Frisbee, did some exercise, and now I am ready to ram my head into the brick wall again tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Po-Po
I am going to preface this post by saying very clearly I respect and admire all the men and women who risk their lives every day to keep our cities safe from crime and danger. I find most police officers are noble people who truly want to make a difference in their communities and do a fantastic job.
That being said I never enjoy an interaction with a police officer. Police spend most of their time interacting with the worst society has to offer, and dealing with people generally at their lowest.
Today I had to go to the district commissioner of police in Cuttack. The instructions I received were… vague at best.
William Matthew Lanigan Purcell
Your presence is required at the District Police Headquarters in Cuttack District. Please treat this notice as urgent.
I received this notice on Good Friday, called and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it until Tuesday. So yesterday I went to the district police HQ and sat down in a hot room for an hour being asked questions.
Where are you from?
What are you doing in Orissa?
When did you arrive in Orissa?
When do you plan on leaving Orissa?
Would you like tea?
How much do you weigh?
Do you have a photocopy of your passport and visa?
Where are you staying in Orissa?
Is it too hot for you?
I answered all their questions. They made me write a letter for them to keep on file with all my answers. They took a copy of my passport and visa. They took their time.
It was then my turn to ask some questions. What was all this about? Does everyone who comes into Orissa need to do this? If I didn’t have a cell phone number here would I need to be here? Can this be avoided in the future? Shouldn’t the paperwork that I handed into the police station in Niali be sufficient (it being the exact same paperwork)?
Their answers were less than satisfactory. That means they really didn’t answer any of my questions. See… here in Orissa police are NOTORIOUSLY corrupt. I heard a little 7 year old boy once say that he wanted to be a police officer because you can make a lot of money taking bribes! I was in a restaurant once and a police officer walked in and started shouting because he found people drinking illegally in the back room, and then he just stuck his hand out and waited. Almost every time I have interacted with police here in Orissa I have left feeling like I needed a hot shower and anti-bacterial soap.
That being said I never enjoy an interaction with a police officer. Police spend most of their time interacting with the worst society has to offer, and dealing with people generally at their lowest.
Today I had to go to the district commissioner of police in Cuttack. The instructions I received were… vague at best.
William Matthew Lanigan Purcell
Your presence is required at the District Police Headquarters in Cuttack District. Please treat this notice as urgent.
I received this notice on Good Friday, called and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it until Tuesday. So yesterday I went to the district police HQ and sat down in a hot room for an hour being asked questions.
Where are you from?
What are you doing in Orissa?
When did you arrive in Orissa?
When do you plan on leaving Orissa?
Would you like tea?
How much do you weigh?
Do you have a photocopy of your passport and visa?
Where are you staying in Orissa?
Is it too hot for you?
I answered all their questions. They made me write a letter for them to keep on file with all my answers. They took a copy of my passport and visa. They took their time.
It was then my turn to ask some questions. What was all this about? Does everyone who comes into Orissa need to do this? If I didn’t have a cell phone number here would I need to be here? Can this be avoided in the future? Shouldn’t the paperwork that I handed into the police station in Niali be sufficient (it being the exact same paperwork)?
Their answers were less than satisfactory. That means they really didn’t answer any of my questions. See… here in Orissa police are NOTORIOUSLY corrupt. I heard a little 7 year old boy once say that he wanted to be a police officer because you can make a lot of money taking bribes! I was in a restaurant once and a police officer walked in and started shouting because he found people drinking illegally in the back room, and then he just stuck his hand out and waited. Almost every time I have interacted with police here in Orissa I have left feeling like I needed a hot shower and anti-bacterial soap.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Pooja
I don’t want to talk about politics any more.
Pooja (pooh jya)
If you happen to see a bunch of people singing in the streets and ask someone what is going on, they will answer Pooja.
If someone jumps in front of your car and starts begging for money and then smears some red or orange stuff on your head after you give it to them and you ask what that was all about. They will answer Pooja.
If you hear loud music being broadcast in the distance with someone chanting over a speaker system designed to deliver a message 5 miles and you ask what is going on. They will answer Pooja.
If there are 2 drunk people fighting in the streets with a large crowd of people surrounding them cheering them on and you ask what is going on. They will answer pooja.
If someone walks up to you and slaps you on the head with a hand that smells like it has been drenched in spices and you ask what just happened. They will answer pooja.
Pooja, when kind of literally translated, means prayer. But in reality Pooja is anything that is done with religious intention. And everything here in Orissa is done with their religion in mind. When they get into a car, they do a quick pooja. When they see someone they respect, they do a Pooja. When they drive by a temple (of which there are at least 3 every kilometer) they do a little Pooja.
After a while, I got tired of asking what was going on. I told them that pooja was starting to translate to “just some random thing happening” whenever I heard it. I told them that the answer pooja did not tell me anything more about what I was asking than not answering. And now you know what I found out? They really have no clue what is going on either. Oh, I am sure someone somewhere does, but they just do things because they have been done, are being done, or should be done. I am sure there is some Brahmin somewhere who understands why on the 12th Saturday after the 3rd full moon of a year ending in a multiple of 3 you are supposed to throw a party under a Banyan tree that has an entrance facing south east. But most of the people who I ask here just do it.
Pooja is my least favorite word in their language, because to me, it means nothing.
Pooja (pooh jya)
If you happen to see a bunch of people singing in the streets and ask someone what is going on, they will answer Pooja.
If someone jumps in front of your car and starts begging for money and then smears some red or orange stuff on your head after you give it to them and you ask what that was all about. They will answer Pooja.
If you hear loud music being broadcast in the distance with someone chanting over a speaker system designed to deliver a message 5 miles and you ask what is going on. They will answer Pooja.
If there are 2 drunk people fighting in the streets with a large crowd of people surrounding them cheering them on and you ask what is going on. They will answer pooja.
If someone walks up to you and slaps you on the head with a hand that smells like it has been drenched in spices and you ask what just happened. They will answer pooja.
Pooja, when kind of literally translated, means prayer. But in reality Pooja is anything that is done with religious intention. And everything here in Orissa is done with their religion in mind. When they get into a car, they do a quick pooja. When they see someone they respect, they do a Pooja. When they drive by a temple (of which there are at least 3 every kilometer) they do a little Pooja.
After a while, I got tired of asking what was going on. I told them that pooja was starting to translate to “just some random thing happening” whenever I heard it. I told them that the answer pooja did not tell me anything more about what I was asking than not answering. And now you know what I found out? They really have no clue what is going on either. Oh, I am sure someone somewhere does, but they just do things because they have been done, are being done, or should be done. I am sure there is some Brahmin somewhere who understands why on the 12th Saturday after the 3rd full moon of a year ending in a multiple of 3 you are supposed to throw a party under a Banyan tree that has an entrance facing south east. But most of the people who I ask here just do it.
Pooja is my least favorite word in their language, because to me, it means nothing.
Monday, April 13, 2009
It's Politics as Usual Here
Let us discuss politics. Not the kind you may be familiar with, unless you grew up in Hudson County, and even then… probably not. It is election time here in India and I found myself asking, “Exactly what does that mean?” Well after a month of discussing it, listening to it, and becoming utterly sick of it (that’s how I know it is politics) I am still no expert, but I want everyone who reads this blog to suffer with me.
Let me start off by saying that I constantly state that I am a political hater. That is to say that if its politics, it makes me feel faint, queasy, tired, excited, and angry. I know is sounds more like I am secretly in love with politics, which may or may not be true, for a given quantity of love.
A brief outline of the 2 major political parties in India are as follows:
BJP – The “Hindu” party. The BJP is the opposition party that is trying to fight the party that has been in power for the past 40 years. They are, from the information I have been able to access, a partly religious party. They center on traditional Hindu values, and they believe that the laws should apply across the board to each religious group. BJP believes in strong relationship with the USA and Israel.
Congress Party – The Congress Party is the secular party that has been in power for the last 40 years. They believe in better government, and bigger government. They have a close working relationship with Russia, and are not exactly pro-Israel.
As far as everyone I have spoken to is concerned the Congress Party is a bunch of rotten crooks who are so twisted they could walk through a corkscrew sideways, and the BJP is trying very hard to be just as corrupt just so they can keep up. It is hard to figure out what is true, but I can say that I have witnessed government corruption first hand many times here in India, so I do not doubt the accusations.
If I had my way, the “hot button” issues in this election would be corruption, security, India’s future as a world power, the Indian version of affirmative action, education, health care standards, exploiting India’s vast natural resources more efficiently, and India’s economic security in a time of global recession. These all seem like very important issues facing India today, and they are touched on by every politician… lightly. Instead what India has right now is a wonderful case of democracy inaction.
Most Indians are barely educated, poor farmers. A majority of the population’s occupation is farmer or laborer. This means that for the most part people are not worried about international politics or what is happening in their government apart from how much rice costs. And this population of poor is the focus off all political parties. What this means is that instead of two parties arguing about their differences of opinion on topics, the two parties only try to one up each other on the issues that face the majority of Indians. If the BJP says that it will reduce the price of rice to 2 rupees per Kg of rice, the Congress Party will promise it for 1 rupee per Kg.
The thing that I find truly interesting is how people can switch parties as easily as getting a haircut. In the past 2 months here in Orissa politicians have switched to opposing parties as easily as getting a haircut. The politicians here do not try to lead the people to vote for them, the politicians here follow the vote. If it seems that the opposing party is gaining strength in a district, the politician will switch parties. There is no “platform,” there is no “towing the party line.”
All the people I have spoken to about politics here have one thing in common. They are ALL disillusioned, they do not trust politicians, and they feel that the politicians never keep their promises. There is a general feeling that no politician will do anything to help anyone except themselves. Many people mutter about the only change will come with revolution. Some people here in India (especially Orissa) are actually trying to start that revolution. They are called Naxalites or Maoists. They live in the tribal regions and perform raids on government buildings and attack the infrastructure of the state. They are supplied with weapons coming south from the former Maoist rebels in Nepal.
In short Indian’s politicians are dirty, underhanded, two faced, slime balls who would sell their ideals for a nickel. You know… just like every other politician.
Let me start off by saying that I constantly state that I am a political hater. That is to say that if its politics, it makes me feel faint, queasy, tired, excited, and angry. I know is sounds more like I am secretly in love with politics, which may or may not be true, for a given quantity of love.
A brief outline of the 2 major political parties in India are as follows:
BJP – The “Hindu” party. The BJP is the opposition party that is trying to fight the party that has been in power for the past 40 years. They are, from the information I have been able to access, a partly religious party. They center on traditional Hindu values, and they believe that the laws should apply across the board to each religious group. BJP believes in strong relationship with the USA and Israel.
Congress Party – The Congress Party is the secular party that has been in power for the last 40 years. They believe in better government, and bigger government. They have a close working relationship with Russia, and are not exactly pro-Israel.
As far as everyone I have spoken to is concerned the Congress Party is a bunch of rotten crooks who are so twisted they could walk through a corkscrew sideways, and the BJP is trying very hard to be just as corrupt just so they can keep up. It is hard to figure out what is true, but I can say that I have witnessed government corruption first hand many times here in India, so I do not doubt the accusations.
If I had my way, the “hot button” issues in this election would be corruption, security, India’s future as a world power, the Indian version of affirmative action, education, health care standards, exploiting India’s vast natural resources more efficiently, and India’s economic security in a time of global recession. These all seem like very important issues facing India today, and they are touched on by every politician… lightly. Instead what India has right now is a wonderful case of democracy inaction.
Most Indians are barely educated, poor farmers. A majority of the population’s occupation is farmer or laborer. This means that for the most part people are not worried about international politics or what is happening in their government apart from how much rice costs. And this population of poor is the focus off all political parties. What this means is that instead of two parties arguing about their differences of opinion on topics, the two parties only try to one up each other on the issues that face the majority of Indians. If the BJP says that it will reduce the price of rice to 2 rupees per Kg of rice, the Congress Party will promise it for 1 rupee per Kg.
The thing that I find truly interesting is how people can switch parties as easily as getting a haircut. In the past 2 months here in Orissa politicians have switched to opposing parties as easily as getting a haircut. The politicians here do not try to lead the people to vote for them, the politicians here follow the vote. If it seems that the opposing party is gaining strength in a district, the politician will switch parties. There is no “platform,” there is no “towing the party line.”
All the people I have spoken to about politics here have one thing in common. They are ALL disillusioned, they do not trust politicians, and they feel that the politicians never keep their promises. There is a general feeling that no politician will do anything to help anyone except themselves. Many people mutter about the only change will come with revolution. Some people here in India (especially Orissa) are actually trying to start that revolution. They are called Naxalites or Maoists. They live in the tribal regions and perform raids on government buildings and attack the infrastructure of the state. They are supplied with weapons coming south from the former Maoist rebels in Nepal.
In short Indian’s politicians are dirty, underhanded, two faced, slime balls who would sell their ideals for a nickel. You know… just like every other politician.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Easter!
To everyone who has been asking if they celebrate Easter over here the answer is complicated. The vast majority of the population does not celebrate Easter. However the people who are Christians do.
There are no egg hunts, no Easter Baskets, no chocolate bunnies, and no peeps to be sacrificed so that the upcoming year will have a bountiful harvest. I am going to try to change some of that. Today I bought a basket that I intend to fill with large amounts of chocolate and candy to bring back to the Hospital for Biku, Rinku, Chinku, and Babu. I couldn't find any of that silly plastic green straw stuff, so I am just going to use an acceptable alternative... straw.
I am also going to see about an Easter Egg hunt when I get back. The problem is it is going to be late in the day, and I think I might need to put the egg hunt off till tomorrow.
I went to Easter Service at 7:00 AM this morning. It was pleasant, not crowded, and short. The Priest looked tired (probably still recovering from the Easter Vigil the night before) and only half the Church was filled.
I really love Easter. I think it is one of my favorite holidays. It's a celebration of new life, redemption, and sacrifice. And it reminds us that everything is going to turn out alright. The winter (death) has been defeated by spring (life) and Jesus (life) has defeated death (death).
although I have already passed through spring right into summer. It feels odd to be celebrating Easter with the temp outside being 99 degrees. Stupid climate bias I have I suppose.
I actually had an opportunity to upload some pics from my trip. You can find them at:
My Trip In India (so far)
I really can't wait to get home.
There are no egg hunts, no Easter Baskets, no chocolate bunnies, and no peeps to be sacrificed so that the upcoming year will have a bountiful harvest. I am going to try to change some of that. Today I bought a basket that I intend to fill with large amounts of chocolate and candy to bring back to the Hospital for Biku, Rinku, Chinku, and Babu. I couldn't find any of that silly plastic green straw stuff, so I am just going to use an acceptable alternative... straw.
I am also going to see about an Easter Egg hunt when I get back. The problem is it is going to be late in the day, and I think I might need to put the egg hunt off till tomorrow.
I went to Easter Service at 7:00 AM this morning. It was pleasant, not crowded, and short. The Priest looked tired (probably still recovering from the Easter Vigil the night before) and only half the Church was filled.
I really love Easter. I think it is one of my favorite holidays. It's a celebration of new life, redemption, and sacrifice. And it reminds us that everything is going to turn out alright. The winter (death) has been defeated by spring (life) and Jesus (life) has defeated death (death).
although I have already passed through spring right into summer. It feels odd to be celebrating Easter with the temp outside being 99 degrees. Stupid climate bias I have I suppose.
I actually had an opportunity to upload some pics from my trip. You can find them at:
My Trip In India (so far)
I really can't wait to get home.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Check out my new Haircut.
So yeah I have resorted to taking of before/after pictures of the mess that is my head here in India.
You can go to:
http://picasaweb.google.com/willpurcell
Just click on the album titled My New Haircut.
Enjoy!
You can go to:
http://picasaweb.google.com/willpurcell
Just click on the album titled My New Haircut.
Enjoy!
Puri Driving
Today was a slow day for me. I spent most of the day in my room at the hotel, or just wandering around Puri without any aim or goal.
Puri is a city on the verge of becoming too... touristy. Right now the Rickshaw drivers only pester you once or twice, and every shopkeeper only tells you to enter his shop once. It is, dare I say it, a friendly place. The people here are all very used to foreigners, and do not really look at you oddly. (like they do in the villages)
It is also a very noisy city for its size. Hoboken has a much higher population than Puri, and the population density is also much higher there, but the noise from cars and horns here is almost a constant from sunrise till about midnight. It is just a different culture. Everyone here just blows their horns while they drive. I suppose it is necessary because EVERYONE WEAVES IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC LIKE A MADMAN.
Sorry. Indian driving styles are finally getting to me. Everyone's mentality is ME FIRST! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Sorry... I will try to get a hold of myself.
I have seen traffic jams start just because one car was trying to make a left turn, blocked 2 lanes of traffic, and then was unable to complete the turn because people on motorcycles decided they had to weave around in front of him. Entire roadways are jammed because is there is one slow driver, people will pass him INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.
Sorry again. It just... shocks me. We have this behavior in America. We call it bad driving. Here they simply call it driving.
Puri is a city on the verge of becoming too... touristy. Right now the Rickshaw drivers only pester you once or twice, and every shopkeeper only tells you to enter his shop once. It is, dare I say it, a friendly place. The people here are all very used to foreigners, and do not really look at you oddly. (like they do in the villages)
It is also a very noisy city for its size. Hoboken has a much higher population than Puri, and the population density is also much higher there, but the noise from cars and horns here is almost a constant from sunrise till about midnight. It is just a different culture. Everyone here just blows their horns while they drive. I suppose it is necessary because EVERYONE WEAVES IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC LIKE A MADMAN.
Sorry. Indian driving styles are finally getting to me. Everyone's mentality is ME FIRST! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Sorry... I will try to get a hold of myself.
I have seen traffic jams start just because one car was trying to make a left turn, blocked 2 lanes of traffic, and then was unable to complete the turn because people on motorcycles decided they had to weave around in front of him. Entire roadways are jammed because is there is one slow driver, people will pass him INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.
Sorry again. It just... shocks me. We have this behavior in America. We call it bad driving. Here they simply call it driving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)